Greta Turns 2

Greta's birthday has come and gone but lucky girl that she is still has lots of celebrating in her future. With the move and house selling and single parenting going on I'm afraid Greta's birthday didn't get a lot of fanfair, but don't worry I carried enough 'Mommy guilt' about the lack to make up for it. There are quite a few summer birthdays in our family so when we get to Ontario we will celebrate everybody including Greta.

I had originally planned to do nothing for her birthday and do it all in August as a family but as her birthday drew closer I knew I couldn't do nothing. It's not everyday my girlie turns 2 and even if it's a small celebration she deserves it. If life were normal I would have done a Winnie the Pooh hoopla party so instead I decided to do cupcakes with pre-made Pooh toppers. 8 stores later and I was still without my toppers. Seriously, who is in charge of marketing! A brand new Pooh movie came out the same week as her birthday and there were no party items to be found. Good ole Walmart came through for me with some Winnie the Pooh birthday candles that did the trick!



Wednesday is our Mom's park meet up so I made the cupcakes a day early and we took them to the park. A very inspiring round of Happy Birthday with my girlie and cupcakes enjoyed by all. Ironically we ended up at the exact same park as last year that I took muffins to and celebrated her birthday. The next day on her actual birthday we spent the morning at Kindermusik, which for Greta is the best way to spend a day. I made her mac and cheese for lunch, one of her favourites, Vaughn and I sang happy birthday and enjoyed some Winnie the Pooh topped cupcakes. Presents from Grandma, Great Grandma and Bompa and Uncle John and Aunt Jessa rounded out the birthday celebration. She ended the day with pizza and Miss Cheryl (add to the Mommy guilt I went to a movie without her on her birthday).


This week as her birthday treat I am taking the kids to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie. Hopefully Greta enjoys it because she's the reason we are going. Good movie, good food and good friends, what more can my girlie ask for . . . well maybe her Winnie the Pooh cake I'll be making her in August. Hope everybody else is ok with having a Pooh birthday cake :)

Greta is pure joy. She is my little sunshine. She is goofy, and silly and she knows it. She loves to laugh, sing, dance and generally just enjoy life. I love her snuggles, hugs and kisses that she gives so generously. There aren't many things that Greta is scared to do or try, she loves all animals and wants to do everything her big brother does. She has become Vaughn's shadow in the past few months and it is amazing to watch how she has gone from a baby to a little girl. I think she has grown up faster than Vaughn, due to her insistence on keeping up with everything he does. I love her desire to try everything but I wish she could slow down and be my baby girl a little longer. I think she is going to be a great big sister, since she already hugs and kisses my tummy and tells the baby she loves her. I can't wait to see who she becomes and I pray that she seeks Jesus with all of the passion that I know is within her. I have a feeling that there won't be many things in life this girl won't/can't do if she chooses to. I love you so much Greta!

Well that broke my heart a little . . .

Yesterday we had our very last Kindermusik class with Mrs. Wiebe. I was really looking forward to the day and the kids were too when we left the house. On the way there Vaughn asked something about Kindermusik and I told him this was our last class. He asked a few more questions and then moved on to something else. I thought no more of it until today . . .

Before I tell you what happened today I have to explain what a horrendous time we had at our class. Mrs Wiebe was great, the class was great but Vaughn was in full on melt down mode. He screamed and cried and I had to take him out of the class several times. I wasn't sure what his problem was, I thought maybe he was getting Greta's cold but he seemed fine, I thought maybe he was tired but he had a good sleep the night before. I was at a loss and COMPLETELY exhausted after the class and embarrassed by Vaughn's behavior. We finished the class, loaded into the car and headed home and Vaughn was fine after that. He was back to his old self . . .

Fastforward to tonight in the bathtub. The kids still had their Kindermusik stamp on and Vaughn asked if it was going to come off in the tub. I said yes and he asked if we could get another one at our next class. I paused for a second thinking what to tell him, I could just say yes but instead I went with the truth. I told him that was our last class with Mrs. Wiebe so we won't be getting another stamp until we find a new class when we move.

It took 2 seconds to realize I should have just answered 'yes' because the waterworks and hysteria exploded! He started crying but I'm going to miss Mrs. Wiebe, I don't want another Kindermusik class, I want Mrs. Wiebe. Who will we sing our songs with . . . I don't want a new teacher (when my answer was a new teacher). I want Mrs. Wiebe!

By the end of this crying session him and I were both sobbing and soaking wet because I pulled him out of the tub to hug him. He was slightly happier when I told him we would see Mrs. Wiebe on Friday but not much.

I'm thinking now that his behaviour on Tuesday, while still inexcusable might have been his 4 year old way of processing his last Kindermusik class. Mrs. Wiebe has become a very important part of my kids lives over the past few years. They have loved and looked forward to every class (even when I felt like I was dragging myself to go), they run and hug her when they see her at church, they talk about her at home. She has loved them and they have loved her back wholeheartedly.

Mrs Wiebe we love you and please know that a little boy and little girl are going to be missing you very very much come September when we try out a new Kindermusik class. And next time he asks, don't judge me but I might lie :)

He looks a bit like he's faking her but this was his face after I finished hugging him.
I assure you the tears were no fakes!

Here we go

I am actually going to book tickets for the kids and I in the next couple of days. I'm having some mixed emotions. One the one hand I am SO ready to move on, be with Matt, be with my family and put this behind us!

But on the other hand, this creates a sense of finality I have yet to allow myself to embrace. I looked around my beautiful house tonight and felt sad in my heart. I will have a house again, probably not like this one but a house is just a house and without Matt here it isn't enough. As cheesy as it sounds I want a home and a home only comes when we are all together. Although having Vaughn tell me he doesn't want to leave this house because he likes it so much isn't helping my resolve!

I have lived in Edmonton for I think 12 years now give or take a month or two and for the most part they have been some of the very best years of my life. Edmonton has been good to me and I will miss it here. This is where Matt and I started our life, where our first two babies were born and I will miss my friends, my church, my job, I will even sometimes miss the weather (shocking I know). I don't do well with new things or change and this is a big one. I feel like hyperventilating when I click on the Westjet website. If the house were sold I think it would be easier because I would know when I'm going to have a place to call my own again. For now my Mom's house will be home and I am so very very grateful to her for letting us stay. Looking back I'm not sure if I actually asked her if we could come or if I just assumed it would be ok. Sorry Mom, hope it's ok because it's too late to back out now :)

I anticipate a lot more tears in the next 3 weeks. Which is saying a lot considering I cried because the grocery store was out of something the other day. But there is treasure waiting for me at the end of it all. Matt and I will be in the same province again and eventually in the same house. Our kids will enjoy some love from grandparents, aunts and uncles and have one less anticipated change coming. My newest baby girl is getting closer and closer to making her appearance and I am getting very excited to meet her and this move gets me closer to her.

I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now and it is probably safer for everyone that you not ask me how I'm handling everything because I will most likely start blubbering even if I'm feeling the best I've ever felt in my life.

So, Edmonton, here is my first, oh my goodness I'm actually leaving for real good bye post . . . feel free to skip reading the many more that I'm sure to are to come (I find writing these to be a good way to clear my head before bed, sorry if I bore those of you that read them).

Another one negative one . . . sorry!

I can't believe that I'm actually in countdown mode now. I have 3 Sunday's left and that is just weird. I don't know that I'm excited to be honest there are things I'm excited for but there are so many unknowns that it's hard to know what to feel. I didn't know it was possible to feel such polar opposite emotions equally at the same time!

I can't wait to see Matt again. I miss him so much, the kids miss him so much. I just miss normal everyday being a family. I miss feeling settled. So, I will be glad when we are in the same province again and can start to build our lives together. I am looking forward to seeing my family and getting a few weeks of Ontario summer!! Seeing family in BC will also be a nice treat on our way to Ontario.

It seems though that the things I'm struggling with seem to be outweighing the good things right now. Here are a few of the things that are causing stress in my life as the countdown gets closer (these are in no particular order):

- My house isn't even close to being sold
- I haven't figured out how to load my car onto the moving truck
- I don't know exactly what day the moving truck is coming which is causing the following issues: when do I book tickets for, who is going to help me load the truck, what if I get stuck here for 2 days without anything
- I haven't started packing yet
- I don't know where I'm going to be living when the baby is born so I don't know where to plan for this baby to be born
- Not knowing where home is going to be and not feeling settled
- Getting medical records, dr.'s referral's and all the other odds and ends
- Matt has steady work being self employed but I don't have a job and his doesn't have long term security and we are increasing our family by one
- getting a vehicle that will allow 3 car seats across
- Matt is missing our last pregnancy
- Saying good bye to my life here in Edmonton
- Constantly wondering if we are making a mistake . . .

Just to name a few small things :)

It will work out, everything will be fine, someday I'll look back and laugh. But today, today I worry and stress and wonder if God really is working out all the details like I keep telling myself He is. I keep telling myself I'm going to stop writing these negative blogs but sometimes this feels like the easiest way to get it out.

Everything will work out because it has no choice, I just need to make it to the finish line. If our house would sell I think all the other details would seem less daunting . . . so Jesus please, please bring the right person along to buy our house.

Canada Day 2011

I love Canada Day! It's just one of those day's set aside to do nothing but have fun!

This year we headed to the beach with the George's. It wasn't really the best day for the beach but we still had a great time. The wind was fierce so the kids played at the playground most of the time instead of the water, it was fun to get away for a few hours. I also love picnic lunches and all the snack food that comes with going to the beach :) I don't have many days left to spend with Chris, Lori and the kids so I was grateful for the morning of relaxing together.




After the kids napped in the car we had a simple supper of peanut butter sandwiches. Beaumont was having an event in the park within walking distance to our house so we decided to check it out. I had no red (at least clean) to put the kids in so I felt kind of bad that we hadn't truly embraced Canada Day but what can you do. When we got to the park there were giant board games to play, music, bubble machine and free cake. After singing O Canada I felt like I had actually celebrated the reason for the day instead of just having fun. Greta was exhausted from our beach morning but Vaughn had a blast. We stayed for just over an hour and then headed home. The kids were passed out in their beds by 8:30, I managed to stay up to watch the fireworks from the comfort of the bonus room.

Why does cake taste so much better when it's free?

Greta on the dance floor at the Beaumont Canada Day Party!

I feel truly blessed to live in Canada, no it is not perfect but we have freedom's that people in other countries don't have. I am grateful that the Lord has placed us in this wonderful country, God Keep Our Land!!!