Figuring out the baby in the tummy

Vaughn: Mommy when I was a baby I grew in your tummy right?
Me: Yes
Vaughn: What did I do in there?
Me: You played and you slept
Vaughn: If I slept in there, then Teddy was in there with me too, right?
Me: I don't think so Vaughn
Vaughn: But I wouldn't have been able to sleep if Teddy wasn't with me

Apparently I carried Vaughn and Teddy in my tummy :)

Movies to Daddy 5

Movie's to Daddy 2

Movies to Daddy

With Matt gone I find myself taking lots of silly little videos of the kids doing everyday things. I send them to him so maybe he doesn't feel like he's missing too much. I'm putting them on here because I think someday I'll want to see these again.

Soccer

Vaughn has now had his first two soccer sessions, and this weeks actually got to be outside which was a nice treat. He really seems to be loving soccer which is good, I wasn't sure because he's not really the super aggressive kid and you need a bit of aggression for soccer.

What I didn't know about this soccer league is that they do mostly drills for the morning and then for the last 10 minutes they break up and play against themselves or another team if another team wants too. The drills are all parent lead with the coach explaining and then the parent doing them with the child. This is a really great way to do it and ensure that parents are engaging in their child's team. However I didn't know this when I signed up, I thought I would show up on Saturday morning with my lawn chair and watch Vaughn do his soccer thing, I shake my head now at the foolish girl I was.

Soccer involves me spending the 45 minutes doing drills with Vaughn (hope next years coach can correct all my bad technique) and trying to keep Greta from stealing the other kids balls and accidentally tripping Vaughn's teammates and parents. I again say I think that the format for this age is really good but I think I had thought Matt would be here.

They played a 'game' this week against the purple plums for the last 8 minutes and it was honestly like herding cats. The kids have no idea what they are supposed to be doing so each parent is trailing their child, yelling instructions, I bet it's hilarious to watch. Vaughn had a hard time because the kids weren't 'sharing' the ball with him, he couldn't get the concept that he just had to go in and try and kick it away from the purple team. He did manage to kick the ball a couple of times and one time he was the last one to touch it before it rolled through the net, so technically he scored a goal. Hopefully each week will get a little bit better as he gets the hang of it.

Little Miss Greta unlike her brother had no problem trying to kick the ball away from the other team and I had to keep pulling her out of the mix since it's not her game. Different personalities are so fun to watch develop. I love both my kids, my shy and tentative Vaughn and my go getter Greta. I was even observing at church today that when too many kids came into the nursery Vaughn retreated to the other room while Greta just seemed to get energized from it all.

What I really want

This is what Vaughn told me he really wants

"Mommy, I wish I could stand on a real stage, being a rock star with a light on"

Lost

It might be too soon to write about this and maybe I should wait a few more days for perspective to kick in but I feel like I need to get it out.

Since I lost 30 lbs last year my wedding rings have been loose but I didn't want to get them resized because I knew if we had another baby they would probably fit again once the baby weight started packing on. I've been taking them off when doing things to keep them safe but today, today I didn't.

The kids and I were playing outside and were quite dirty when we came in so we washed our hands. I don't remember my ring coming off but when I went upstairs afterwards and starting picking up toys I looked down and it was gone. I dumped the bin of toys I had been cleaning up to see if it had fallen off, not there. I went outside to check where I had been sweeping, not there. I checked inside the work glove I was wearing when picking up garbage, not there. I checked everywhere I could think of. Our friend Attila was outside so he came in and took the sink apart for me and my ring was not there.

Chris and Lori were over for supper, Chris put my sink back together and after they left I searched some more but I know that it slipped off when I was washing my hands. Here is the thing in a way this doesn't surprise me because I don't except much different. Hard, bad and difficult things seem to happen to Matt and I. Some are of our own doing and some have just happened but honestly if something bad is going to happen it seems to be to us. Don't get me wrong we are very blessed, we have two healthy amazing children and one more on the way. We have a car to drive, a roof over our head and food on our table. We haven't yet suffered a medical crisis and so we are blessed but at the same time bad things happen to us. It makes me sad that I don't expect any different. Maybe it's my own attitude that causes these bad things . . . the one good thing I can say is that Matt and I do always endeavor to handle each challenge with grace and a learners heart.

I know that we are to hold possession loosely and in the light of eternity it's just a ring and I am trying to remind myself of that. But I will never again have that ring. I still remember the day Matt gave it to me. I won't recount the proposal for you but never again will the ring that Matt gave me when he knelt down in the middle of the road, under the street light in my hometown grace my finger.

So, tonight I am sad and probably tomorrow too but I will still do what this family does and I will choose to see the blessing, learn the lesson and remind myself how the Lord sees me and cares for me and it is just a ring and though it is lost my memories will never be.