Lost

It might be too soon to write about this and maybe I should wait a few more days for perspective to kick in but I feel like I need to get it out.

Since I lost 30 lbs last year my wedding rings have been loose but I didn't want to get them resized because I knew if we had another baby they would probably fit again once the baby weight started packing on. I've been taking them off when doing things to keep them safe but today, today I didn't.

The kids and I were playing outside and were quite dirty when we came in so we washed our hands. I don't remember my ring coming off but when I went upstairs afterwards and starting picking up toys I looked down and it was gone. I dumped the bin of toys I had been cleaning up to see if it had fallen off, not there. I went outside to check where I had been sweeping, not there. I checked inside the work glove I was wearing when picking up garbage, not there. I checked everywhere I could think of. Our friend Attila was outside so he came in and took the sink apart for me and my ring was not there.

Chris and Lori were over for supper, Chris put my sink back together and after they left I searched some more but I know that it slipped off when I was washing my hands. Here is the thing in a way this doesn't surprise me because I don't except much different. Hard, bad and difficult things seem to happen to Matt and I. Some are of our own doing and some have just happened but honestly if something bad is going to happen it seems to be to us. Don't get me wrong we are very blessed, we have two healthy amazing children and one more on the way. We have a car to drive, a roof over our head and food on our table. We haven't yet suffered a medical crisis and so we are blessed but at the same time bad things happen to us. It makes me sad that I don't expect any different. Maybe it's my own attitude that causes these bad things . . . the one good thing I can say is that Matt and I do always endeavor to handle each challenge with grace and a learners heart.

I know that we are to hold possession loosely and in the light of eternity it's just a ring and I am trying to remind myself of that. But I will never again have that ring. I still remember the day Matt gave it to me. I won't recount the proposal for you but never again will the ring that Matt gave me when he knelt down in the middle of the road, under the street light in my hometown grace my finger.

So, tonight I am sad and probably tomorrow too but I will still do what this family does and I will choose to see the blessing, learn the lesson and remind myself how the Lord sees me and cares for me and it is just a ring and though it is lost my memories will never be.